I’ve been uncomfortable with Dear Abby’s answers for a while, and I’ve figured out why.
Take today’s problem and answer as an example:
“Dear Abby: I’m a 42-year-old woman who has been living with my boyfriend, Matt. He has asked me to marry him, and I said yes. The problem is, Matt is still married.
“Matt and his wife have been separated for eight years. I keep telling him to get in touch with her and see if she filed for divorce, but he keeps putting it off.
“I really do love this man, Abby. Matt is good to me and to my children and grandchildren, but sometimes I don’t know what to think or do. I want us to buy a house, but I’m scared that if we do, she’ll try to take it away from us. He says she wouldn’t. Please give me some advice.
“- Lady in Waiting.”
“Dear Lady in Waiting: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a marriage proposal from a man who is still married means nothing. I urge you to please consult a lawyer before putting money into any joint financial ventures with this man. He might be good to you, your children and grandchildren, but he hasn’t been completely forthright.
“Your concerns are justified. Listen to your woman’s intuition. It’s sending you an important message.”
I suspect Abby believes that to continue being a popular advice columnist, she must leave her Jewish faith out of her answers. However, one time she advised someone to “Let go. Let God.”
But, man-oh-day, to completely overlook the fact that Lady in Waiting is living with a married man seems remiss to me. He’s a fornicator, she’s a fornicator, he’s a liar, how many other sins are they racking up?
(Yes, I’m a sinner, too. This is not a “holier than thou” thing.)
Is women’s intuition telling Lady in Waiting that what she’s doing is wrong and will have repercussions? Or is Something else, Somebody bigger telling her?
What are your principles?
Abby (Jeanne Phillips) probaby remembers the 10 Commandments. Or most of ’em, anyhow.