Three days a week I pump, kick, push up and squat with a group that has been sweating together at the Y, some of us for five years, others joining more recently.
The other day, my nose started bleeding. (Too many low-dose aspirins.)
I ran out of the gym. Went into the lav. Stuffed toilet paper up a nostril.
Blood kept coming.
Anticipating that one of the gang would come in to check on me, I rehearsed my line, “I’m OK. It’s just a nose bleed. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Minutes passed. Blood kept a comin’.
No one checked on me.
Finally, I returned to the gym in time for crunches and cool down stretches.
No one said beans to me.
I was hurt and surprised.
I rationalized their apparent lack of concern: I come across as tough and self-sufficient. They must’ve assumed I was OK.
Wanting to avoid spewing something sarcastic and suffering a crappy attitude the next time at the gym, I prayed to God to heal my hurt and anger.
Then in Fenelon’s The Seeking Heart I read, “We’re not called to be well-served. We’re called to serve well.”
Re-set! (I’m still surprised, though, at my gym-mates non-response.)
Fenelon isn’t easy on us. Here are some more quotes from him that make my nose bleed, so to speak.
Often you love yourself reflected in others. Is this the love of God?
What could be sweeter to your self-love than being told you don’t have any?
You will have accomplished something when you can look at your inner corruptness without anxiety and discouragement and simply trust in God.
As you expect less of others, you will learn to be kinder and more helpful to everyone.
You never really see your sins until they are beginning to be cured.