Every Andy Stanley Youtube video my spouse and I watch is excellent. Go look him up if you haven’t watched/heard Andy before. In the meantime, here’s a good list from him.
Seven Lethal Assumptions
1. “If I find the right person, everything will be alright.”
Wrong! If you find the right person, and you’re not the right person, they are not going to like you.
The goal is to become the right person. If you become the right person, your chances for things to go right go up exponentially. If you have just broken off a relationship, the goal isn’t to rush to find the next person.
Be real, the last person was the one who you thought was the right person. You were wrong.
Instead of trying to find the right person put your efforts into being the right person.
If will become the person that the person you are looking for is looking for, God will do something to prepare you for a much better relationship.
You need time to renew your mind. Becoming the right person is the goal.
2. “My situation is unique.”
No it’s not. This is your way of going around the rules and dodging the truth.
You are unique, your situation isn’t.
For counselors, there’s basically five streams of stories. I’m all for counselors, but counselors know. A great counselor knows what you need to do after about ten minutes of hearing your story. But a great counselor also knows that you won’t do it. So they have to listen to you into your conclusions.
Your situation, circumstance, or story isn’t unique.
3. “It’s not right, but it makes me happy and God wants me to be happy.”
I don’t know if God wants you to be happy or not. He might. But if you make the decision on this premise, you’re making this up.
If God wants you to be really truly happy, don’t ever make a decision to do the wrong thing based on this thought.
If it’s not right, things won’t turn out right.
If you hear yourself thinking this… pause… you’re about to talk yourself into something you’ll regret
4. “If only I had ________, then I would be satisfied.”
Fill in the blank…
Let me ask you this: Does anyone ever really get just one tattoo?
No, you go get another one.
Appetites are never fully and finally satisfied. This is true of clothes or a new nose. It’s all about wanting the next thing.
If you talk yourself into things based on this thought, you are lying to yourself.
Nothing fully satisfies. No appetite is every fully satisfied, it’s the nature of an appetite.
5. “I owe is better than I want.”
No it’s not.
It is better to want than to owe.
“What was I thinking?” Well, you were thinking it was better to owe on something than to want it.
Advertisers spend millions of dollars to get you to owe on something. We know this. I don’t care if you upgrade, but I want you to be aware of the the situation.
6. “My secret is safe with me.”
No it’s not.
Do you know where they seep? Into your most valuable relationships.
Your secrets are going to seep and it will seep into the very relationship you care about most.
You may have thought that the secret was safe with you, but it’s not. If you decide to take your prescription medication into the relationship as a secret, there’s not room there. Neither for your alcohol thing, or your porn thing, or whatever other addiction.
If you’re in between, now is the time to take that secret and bring it into the light. Decide to not carry it anymore. If you do that, you’ll be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And you’ll look back, maybe embarrassed or loss of money, but you will be renewed.
7. “Sex will solve it.”
No, sex will complicate it.
If you think sex is a solution, it’s not. God is not against sex, he made it up. And he placed it in a way that it is awesome. But if you take it outside of marriage, you might as well take the embers out of the fire and put them in your living room and watch your house burn down.
The moment you start telling yourself this lie, hit the pause button and acknowledge that this is a mind transforming thing.
Everything in our world tells us that sex will solve it, but we know that is not true. So it’s time to renew your mind.
“But, Andy, I’ll be a cultural freak!”
That’s okay. Or do you want to be cookie cutter?
That’s why we need to be transformed through the renewing of our mind.
You don’t want to be a conformer, you want to be a transformer.
Next time can be better than the last time not just because you were disciplined or sincere. Next time can be better through the renewing of your mind.