Hold Space (Bite Your Tongue)

Our Bible study leader told us not to give each other advice during small-group discussions.

I liked the experience. Would you?

Refraining from counseling/advising/citing scripture/quoting Christian clichés holds space open for Holy Spirit (The Counselor) to be heard. Holding space prevents others from trying to “rescue” the person who shared a deep hurt or struggle.

When people – with well-meaning, loving intentions – try to rescue me, sometimes they’re saying something I’ve thought or heard already, something that doesn’t fit, something that addresses the facts, but not the soul and emotions; or they’re telling their own story.

I remember when a group member advised another, who’d uncovered her heartache, that she should pray more often. As you can imagine, she shut down.

What helps is Christians hearing us and being with us as we are.

What would our growth groups, family discussions, chats with friends, time with a terminally ill parent, and other encounters feel like if we would Hold Space, that is, not jump in and give advice? (Of course, if someone asks, “What should I do?” or harm is imminent, do not hold your tongue.)

“What does it mean to ‘hold space’ for someone else?

It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.” Full article at http://upliftconnect.com/hold-space/

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About beth

I started this blog in 2011 shortly after I finally opened my heart and mind to Jesus as a last resort. My intent with this blog is to share what I learn and feel along my path with Jesus.
This entry was posted in family, family problems, fixers, healing, hold space, Holy spirit, intimacy, marital problems, mens group, relationships, wisdom and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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